I just had a full, nourishing weekend spending it with my fabulous mentors and Hakomi community getting further training on working with couples from a Hakomi approach.
Now you might be wondering what the heck is Hakomi- No… it’s not a martial art…or a fine cuisine dish… it’s an experiential, mind-body therapy approach that provides clients a different felt experience, rather than just offering of concepts and tools in a typical educational way (check out more on Hakomi here).
Over the years, I have been applying this method with many of my clients to offer them something unique and new. Hakomi guides clients to experientially find ways to communicate their issues in a safe and loving way so that the couple can learn to lead themselves to their own solutions (as oppose to the therapist coming up with solutions for their issue but not changing their limiting and ineffective patterns in trying to resolve their issue). The former approach is healing, and the latter approach is “fixing”- which is temporary and therefore, I am not an advocate for “fixing” issues.
When it comes down to it, my approach is about learning to change the pattern in how a client/couple approaches problem solving, because it’s the pattern that’s the true problem. Have you and your partner ever gotten so stuck on an issue, that it feels like one of you completely sacrifices your own point of view and just gives in, and you really feel resentful about giving in while your partner “wins”? Sound familiar? Or have you ever felt like neither of you are willing to budge so the issue gets swept under the carpet (only to have it pop up time and time again)?
I love that the Hakomi method can offer couples such a unique gift in helping them not only learn how to resolve their issues, but it provides such a profound, deeper learning of yourself, and your partner, and your relationship.
My husband and I actually quite enjoy going to couples therapy and couples retreats. And no, my husband is not a therapist nor is he even closely related to the field. And no, my husband isn’t dragged to these sessions. He actually is willingly going with me!
Hold on… What?! A Marital and Family Therapist going for couples therapy!?
Yes, you read that correctly. 🙂
My husband and I have a healthy relationship, and we go for couples therapy. We want to deepen our relationship because as our life circumstances change, we recognize how important it is to go for “check-ups”. Just like your body needs continued fine tuning (working out, exercising, walking, dancing, movement), and your car needs continued fine tuning (oil change, filter change, tire change), and we take professional development days at work…why should it be any different for your mental and emotional health (i.e., personal development)?
I always let my clients know that the best time to go for therapy is when there are not a lot of noise at all (or at least not seemingly so…it’s not realistic to not have any issues in intimate relationships!) But when clients are at a calm, good, positive place, this is when we can learn how to deepen the positives of that relationship since we can study things about our own selves in relationship and the relationship dynamics more objectively.
In fact, after this weekend, hubby and I are amazingly inspired to rejuvenate and deepen our connection- especially since most of our relationship energy has been focused on parenting since our precious baby boy came along. Now that he’s almost a year old, and a little more independent, it’s time to shift our energy back into our intimate relationship with each other to rediscover our connection as lovers and partners again, and re-ignite our passion and desire for each other. 🙂 When we go for couples therapy, there is something so powerful about being facilitated, witnessed and held in loving presence by our therapist.
So no, you don’t have to wait until you or your relationship are in crisis to go for therapy, in fact, be proactive and go when the issue at hand is relatively “minor” or even when you’re extremely happy with each other. A trained Hakomi therapist can help guide you to learn new ways to deepen your intimacy, passion, and desire for each other.
Curious now? 🙂
Good, because I’m all about inviting curiosity, playfulness and love into my office.
I’d be extremely honored to work with you and facilitate and witness the unfolding of beautiful shifts.
If you’re interested in booking for an experience for yourself or you and your partner, please contact me at:
780.468.1366 x. 103
Please note that I am only available to work with clients residing in Alberta, due to being a Registered Psychologist in the province of Alberta.